Ok so today I confronted my soon to be ex.

don’t judge.

I heard he was at my old house..getting it ready for the new owners.

the idea of getting him when he was alone…no brothers, no nephew, no mother, no lawyers…

just him…

was too tempting…to my mind & the lets get things- worked- out- civilly,  side of my brain.

I thought..maybe …maybe he would finally  talk.

no self imposed “gag order” that was the last few months of our living together…but talk …rationally with me.

Stop the madness.

Just me & him…face to face….no arguing, no court, 2 mature adults who share a wonderful daughter…

trying to make things ….I don’t know…better for us all..for her.

especially for her…for her future as a kid of a divorce home.

I know personally – how awful things can be when your parents are not cordial.

not a talk to reconcile..things are way to far gone.

but a talk on how to behave amicable..to come to terms with the divorce decision..and let there be some sort of peace for us.

it was a fantasy.

I thought I could reach the man who I had  loved so deeply.

But he has left the building,

permanently.

instead he called the police…reported my license plate

I  was trespassing….

You GNOCCHI!

there is nothing else I can say

other than YOU YOU….GNOCCHI!

missing yet another opportunity to make life…better.

but on the bright side.

for the first time.. there are no tears.

nope…just a strong feeling of …what a shame.

because finally I realize… there IS a whole life of …so much better

and I am on the road…

no matter along the way.. what kinda Gnocchi I gots ta eat.

Gnocchi from scratch…

When I was in Israel for Pesach this year, every and I mean EVERY dairy restaurant that was open, featured Gnocchi with salsa rosa (their version of penne vodka).

Some were better than others..and the best one I had was in Cafe Hillel in Amek Rifaem. In general food on Pesach in Israel..lets just say ..you feel like you are eating Chametz. What they make from potatoes and potato starch ..is not to believe.

Here is the “bread” I was served with my soup….see what I mean.

But ..back to Gnocchi.

Coincidentally I also had made a Gnocchi recipe recently when I was testing the Manischewitz finalist recipes a few months back that I really liked.

So with a recipe from my friend Danielle Miles (a non-jewish Italian who is a crazy good baker and who has shared with me some really fantastic recipes over the years) I decided that this dreary rainy day was the perfect day to make a batch for dinner tonight.

I cut some corners – I microwaved the potatoes..yes I said MICROWAVEd (even us “at-home” gourmets use them!)

and since I, who has every practical basic kitchen tool…EXCEPT a potato ricer.. I used a good old strainer and fork to mash my potatoes.

The last short cut I can give you, if you are looking to do this…you really do not have to make the grooves with the fork..just cook them without.

tastes as delicious…just not as pretty.

This recipe uses flour..but if you are GF, go for the GF flour or potato starch instead.

And for those of you who want to know..NO this recipe does not work if you substitute sweet potatoes…I learnt the hard way this morning.

For the Gnocchi Ala Marinara

Ingredients:

4 large potatoes

3/4 cup flour, plus extra for kneading

2 tsp. kosher salt

1 tsp. black pepper

1 cup Home-made Marinara Sauce (or favorite Jar sauce)

3/4 cup mixed shredded Mozzarella & Cheddar cheese

Directions:

Microwave your potatoes for about 10-12 minutes. They should be soft and easily pierceable with your fork.Let them cool off for about 5-6 minutes on the counter.

Peel the skins from the cooked potatoes. Using a mesh strainer or potato ricer if you have, mash the potatoes through with a fork, into a medium size bowl.

Once all the potatoes are mashed add the flour, salt , pepper and mix together well.

Dump the mixture on a floured cutting board, and knead into dough ball.

Cut the dough into small workable chunks, and roll into a long 3/4 inch thick ropes.

Then cut into small 1 1/2 inch thick pieces.

Now bring pot of water to a boil with some kosher salt.

Using the tines of a fork, take a piece of the Gnocchi into the palm of your hands and roll the tines down to create the groves and the oblong shape.

Throw the gnocchi into the boiling water to cook. When gnocchi rises to the top, they are ready.

Strain and  place the cooked gnocchi into a baking dish. Pour your marinara onto the gnocchi, and then sprinkle the cheese over the marinara.

Bake in 350F oven for about 10-15 minutes, until cheese has melted and sauce is bubbling.

For another variation using your cooked gnocchi, just add butter, sage, and some parmesan cheese for a great bowl of yumminess.

a little taste of Sunshine….

This morning I woke up

sun was streaming hot & glorious through my windows

I was like the walrus on a rock (ok i know not the most  flattering image…but thats how I felt )

basking and stretching

For a few minutes I truly forgot what my life has turned into.

reality showed up

up & adam…. gotta pay the bills

gotta make the donuts …as i say

to live…to survive.

What use to be no problem, no worries…has become

the giant heavy boulder that has permanently landed on my shoulders…alone.

This new reality….starting from scratch…

sorta sucks right now  - if you want to know the truth.

but I can make a choice…let it  topple me over..

or be creative…and keep that dang *&%$ rock afloat.

Because while my old partner in “crime”…is busy counting his money

and high-fiving himself on his “Wins”

I gotta figure out a way to THRIVE not survive

So I can high-five myself …

and know deep down, that ….I  always was and will be….the winner.

no matter what people say….it is important to me.

it is the reason for me to get up each morning

and just maybe I will not need this  daily motivation …for too much longer

because my reality will be …full of sunshine..for real.

i hope.

i pray.

I must make it so.

What’s for Dinner Tonight?

Orange Lemon Chicken 

I have for some reason a boat load of oranges sitting in a bowl on the counter in my new kitchen.

These days I find myself buying small affordable things that make me feel good…like a colorful bowl of oranges. There is just something “hopeful” about a bountiful bowl of bright colored fruit – not to mention adds great color to my somewhat dreary “new” kitchen.

But, practically speaking there is no way I was going to eat them all…even with the help of orange loving Tunie B. So I decided tonight for dinner it is time to incorporate them into my Tuesday night chicken dinner. Citrus and chicken is a long standing partnership and works really well, especially when you add just a tad of spicy sweetness to the mix. This time its a little of that good ol duck sauce from a jar. I plan on serving this with a nice light salad, because after a few days of gorging on food this past Shavout holiday…I’m looking for light meals that are satisfying.

Ingredients:

1 package of Dark Chicken Cutlets

2 large naval oranges, sliced into thin rounds

1 tbsp. olive oil

2 tbsp. fresh lemon rind

11/2  cups Favorite Duck Sauce + 3tbsp.

2 cloves garlic, minced

1 shallot, minced

1 tsp. thyme

1 tsp. rosemary

kosher salt & pepper to taste

1/2 cup fresh squeezed orange Juice (I used 2 large oranges)

2 tsp.  fresh squeezed lemon juice

Directions:

Preheat oven to 375F.

In a disposable 9 x 13 lay your orange slices down on the bottom.

Pound your chicken into thin workable pieces that you can easily roll.

In a small bowl, mix together the olive oil, lemon rind, duck sauce, minced garlic, thyme, rosemary and a pinch of salt and pepper.

Using your fingers, shmear and heavily coat all your chicken pieces well on all sides.

Place 2 sliced oranges in the center of your coated chicken and roll.

Place the chicken roll up on top of the orange slices in your pan, and repeat with remaining chicken.

In a small bowl, mix together the orange juice, lemon juice and remaining 3 tbsp. of duck sauce. Pour in the pan to cover the oranges.

Serve over some light couscous .

Place chicken in oven and bake for 45 -55 minutes Let the chicken bake covered for about 30 minutes and then uncover for remaining 15 minutes.